Been inspired to write again.
Recently, I started taking chloroquine in preparation for Spring Break in Guatemala.
Consequently, I have been having some epic dreams.
1) It felt like everyone in my life showed up in this one - really unconnected people. I think at some point my grandmother passed down some sort of family wisdom down to me. At another point in the dream, my hallmate walked past me.
2) Today, I took an intense nap and dreamt I was at college, although the campus was next to a huge lake. People were swimming in it despite the cold and rain because it was the cool thing to do. My friend Emily and I were in a room with 4 other people who were waking up from sleep after a hard day's night. Her friend was there, sleeping, but her friend's boyfriend was either awake or talking in his sleep. I heard him say "I don't want to be with her." Emily and I decided to head out of there and go eat in the Duke Faculty Commons. She just wanted to get something to go, so I was going to do the same. Then we heard a man being served by a waiter ask him if they catered "last meals." He wanted to bring his dying father in for the best last meal he could provide him.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Thursday, October 2, 2008
It's Been a While
1) Mother, brother, fighting. Then, they start to bleed out of their mouths, and stop fighting. They freak out because of the blood that is just pouring out of their mouths, almost gushing. They then begin to cry.
2) I am not sure what was going on, but I saw Robin and David somewhere. We were both wearing yellow glasses.
2) I am not sure what was going on, but I saw Robin and David somewhere. We were both wearing yellow glasses.
Friday, August 8, 2008
1) I had a dream where I was in high school or something and I was teaching a science course, or auditing one so that I could later on teach. I remember I wasn't sure about some science fact the teacher had said and I was very upset that I thought she was teaching falsehoods. Then I went to another teacher to ask what the correct fact was, and it turned out to be Mary Nihjout from the Howard Hughes program, hahaha. She confirmed that I was right and the other teacher was wrong.
2) ill try and remember this dream. it comes and goes - i just know i had one.
3) I don't want to get into the details of this dream, but essentially it was a fantasy (nonsexual) of a social situation that I wish would occur but I know is futile to wish for. It was essentially like a perfect romantic outcome, and all my worries were washed away for the time this dream lasted, but upon waking up I realized how unrealistic and illogical it all was. Overall it made me very sad.
2) ill try and remember this dream. it comes and goes - i just know i had one.
3) I don't want to get into the details of this dream, but essentially it was a fantasy (nonsexual) of a social situation that I wish would occur but I know is futile to wish for. It was essentially like a perfect romantic outcome, and all my worries were washed away for the time this dream lasted, but upon waking up I realized how unrealistic and illogical it all was. Overall it made me very sad.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Lucid!
So I have always wanted to really have a lucid dream. I have come close before, but I woke up too fast. This time, I stayed in the dream. This is how it went...
The first thing I remember is that I took all my clothes off in a moment of desperation, frustration, and a need for total freedom. I then proceeded to run outside, where I found myself on the Duke campus, and leaving my friends behind, I went streaking throughout campus, including the loop, and the BC plaza, and somehow I ended up on an isolated part of Central Campus. At this moment, I suddenly came to my senses, still dreaming out of my control, and I became very ashamed and remorseful of what I had just done. I was embarassed and sad that I had done something so crazy. Next thing I knew,I wanted to find clothes ASAP but i had no idea where i could find some clothes without running into more people who would see me naked. So i walked into the nearest building, and I was in a standard lobby, with some couches and chairs. No one was around, and suddenly, clothes appeared on some of the seats, along with my purse. At this very moment, i became aware that I was dreaming. I then became worried that I would wake up, having come to this realization, so I tried a technique I had heard of before; when you feel you might wake up while lucidly dreaming, pretend you are spinning in circles. Thus I did, and although I thought I was going to wake up because I thought I could see some lightning coming from the real world, I managed to stay in the dream. As I was lucid, I decided to try and summon a friend. So basically I wasn't sure how I was going to do that, but i just kind of said their name and made some sort of hand gesture, but nothing happened. So i then decided that maybe to make things happen in your lucid dream, it might be necessary to do things as if they were real. So I grabbed my purse and pulled out my blackberry - identical to the one I own in reality - and tried to enter my friend's name so I could call him and ask him to come. But I couldnt type in his name. It would only let me enter my brother's name. At this point I became frustrated and unsure of whether or not I was really lucid. So I decided to test the reality of my surroundings. So I told myself, if I hit this wooden wall, and I am dreaming, my hand will go straight through. So I hit the wall, and in my dream, my hand was stopped by the wall. At this moment I began to freak out and I was seriously concerned that everything I was already glad had been just a dream was indeed a reality, and I would have to face their consequences. So I tried hitting the wall again, but to no avail. I was even afraid I could break my hand if I tried again. And thus, I ceased hitting the wall and in my moment of disappointment, my dream ended.
The first thing I remember is that I took all my clothes off in a moment of desperation, frustration, and a need for total freedom. I then proceeded to run outside, where I found myself on the Duke campus, and leaving my friends behind, I went streaking throughout campus, including the loop, and the BC plaza, and somehow I ended up on an isolated part of Central Campus. At this moment, I suddenly came to my senses, still dreaming out of my control, and I became very ashamed and remorseful of what I had just done. I was embarassed and sad that I had done something so crazy. Next thing I knew,I wanted to find clothes ASAP but i had no idea where i could find some clothes without running into more people who would see me naked. So i walked into the nearest building, and I was in a standard lobby, with some couches and chairs. No one was around, and suddenly, clothes appeared on some of the seats, along with my purse. At this very moment, i became aware that I was dreaming. I then became worried that I would wake up, having come to this realization, so I tried a technique I had heard of before; when you feel you might wake up while lucidly dreaming, pretend you are spinning in circles. Thus I did, and although I thought I was going to wake up because I thought I could see some lightning coming from the real world, I managed to stay in the dream. As I was lucid, I decided to try and summon a friend. So basically I wasn't sure how I was going to do that, but i just kind of said their name and made some sort of hand gesture, but nothing happened. So i then decided that maybe to make things happen in your lucid dream, it might be necessary to do things as if they were real. So I grabbed my purse and pulled out my blackberry - identical to the one I own in reality - and tried to enter my friend's name so I could call him and ask him to come. But I couldnt type in his name. It would only let me enter my brother's name. At this point I became frustrated and unsure of whether or not I was really lucid. So I decided to test the reality of my surroundings. So I told myself, if I hit this wooden wall, and I am dreaming, my hand will go straight through. So I hit the wall, and in my dream, my hand was stopped by the wall. At this moment I began to freak out and I was seriously concerned that everything I was already glad had been just a dream was indeed a reality, and I would have to face their consequences. So I tried hitting the wall again, but to no avail. I was even afraid I could break my hand if I tried again. And thus, I ceased hitting the wall and in my moment of disappointment, my dream ended.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Baby, Batman, Bucket, Booze, Bad
1) Wow so this one was fairly interesting. It started in a hospital, I'd just given birth to my son. I was still 18, still in college, and I had a child. I remember being emotionally distant from him, but mostly because I was overwhelmed that I had a kid. Still in college, how was I going to handle it? I couldn't even begin to think about it, but I remember thinking a lot about how my party days were over, and that I would hardly even have time to eat or breathe between studying and the baby. I remember my mother was there with me as we walked out of the hospital, she seemed supportive. I had the baby in a carrier, but he felt so heavy. I could barely lift the carrier. I am not sure what else happened, but at some point I was walking to meet some friends and introduce the baby. At some point I went into a building and when I walked out, I realized I had forgotten my baby. I went back in and was relieved to find him in the carrier when I went back. Then I remember walking on a boardwalk, and my friend asked me who the father was. I told him, and he asked if the guy knew. I said he did, and I was going to visit him later to meet the baby. We seemed to be on friendly terms I guess.
2) I had this dream right after I saw The Dark Knight. Midnight showing, of course. Mostly what I remember is that I was in a flesh-colored room with a table in it, and then I heard gun shots outside in the hall. I took cover under the table and tried to drag myself along the floor towards a corner of the room. I kept hearing gun shots and I remember I was very scared.
3) I woke up in my dream next to a young man. We were in what I guess was his apartment - it had green colored brick walls and lots of other colors from patterned fabrics and posters. I remembered I had to go somewhere so I woke up and went to what I guess was the equivalent of the Bryan Center (Duke's student center). I then realized there were a lot of small white tents that had popped up everywhere, even along the way to the Bryan Center, on the grass and etc. Somehow I found out that a lot of Indian people were dying spontaneously worldwide, and apparently it was customary for Hindu priests to come to the dead and embalm their bodies at the location of their death. Then I found out I was assigned to go around to each of the bodies, all surrounded by a group of priests, and hand out salt from a bucket to them. The salt, apparently, was the first step of the embalment, and it was poured on the faces of the dead. At one point I stopped to watch this being done, but a priest scolded me and told me not to watch the ceremony, just to keep walking and pass salt. When they were done with a body, they built a small white tent around it, for the body was supposed to rest at the location of death for seven days.
3) I woke up in my dream next to a young man. We were in what I guess was his apartment - it had green colored brick walls and lots of other colors from patterned fabrics and posters. I remembered I had to go somewhere so I woke up and went to what I guess was the equivalent of the Bryan Center (Duke's student center). I then realized there were a lot of small white tents that had popped up everywhere, even along the way to the Bryan Center, on the grass and etc. Somehow I found out that a lot of Indian people were dying spontaneously worldwide, and apparently it was customary for Hindu priests to come to the dead and embalm their bodies at the location of their death. Then I found out I was assigned to go around to each of the bodies, all surrounded by a group of priests, and hand out salt from a bucket to them. The salt, apparently, was the first step of the embalment, and it was poured on the faces of the dead. At one point I stopped to watch this being done, but a priest scolded me and told me not to watch the ceremony, just to keep walking and pass salt. When they were done with a body, they built a small white tent around it, for the body was supposed to rest at the location of death for seven days.
4) In this dream, I kept falling down from drunkenness as me and some Howard Hughes kids were walking, even though I had only had a few sips of wine in the dream. While we were walking around with my friends, I remembered binge drinking not the day before, but the day before yesterday (in the dream). Regardless, it didn't make sense for me to be so out of control and unbalanced - nor did it make sense that we were walking around with me like this in broad daylight. I remember it was a goofy but scary feeling, and I vividly remember a point where I was tripping down some steps in a plaza very slowly, and towards the end of my dream I fell over once again and was too drunk to get up. Then I laid down in the rain.
5) I woke up lying next to an old friend on my bed at home. We had fallen asleep talking and surprisingly my mother hadn't noticed or anything, so when I woke up he also woke up and we started talking, laughing, flirting. Then next thing you know, we are fooling around while I'm telling him I want to but we might get caught, and he says no way we will. Then we're at it when my mother comes in with some clean clothes to hang in my closet, and by instinct we try to hide our nakedness amongst the racks in my closet as my mom continues about her business, diverting her eyes and beginning to sternly scold us, without yelling, in a chilling voice, talking about how what I am doing is an act I should feel complete shame and sin for doing. Then I may have tried to say something as she walks away, clearly in a state of shock. At another point in my dream, I am in a car with my family and we are driving down a very busy city street. I see a man picking up his child from daycare. Later on we drive past a marquee that says "Don't forget to pick up James" and somehow I draw a connection between the two.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Parties and a Coma
1) Mirecourt friends and company were hanging out at an apartment. It belonged to some friends, who in reality do have an apartment, but the dream version was much more urban and contemporary looking. I remember we were talking, taking some shots of vodka, and I remember being remotely tipsy in my dream. Everyone was just kind of relaxed and chatting but I felt like dancing, so seeing as no one else wanted to come along, I walked over to a club where my current roommate's sorority was having a sponsored club night. I went to the door and saw her dressed in black, as a hostess, with a light blue crown with Roman letters, MX, on it, and some of her sorority sisters were dressed the same way. When I went up to talk to her she gave me a box of fake nails and asked me to show her how to put them on. I did, and asked her if she needed help, but she just said she had already gotten some other ones on. I don't remember what happened right after, but then I found myself in line at a gelato store, and I got some coconut gelato.
2) I woke up in my dream to find myself on a bed, with my mother and grandmother, possibly my father, standing over me. They were crying tears of joy, and soon after I discovered I had been in a coma for four years. I was now 24, and I don't know why but at age 20 I had gone into this coma. At the time, I was apparently also engaged. The problem was, I couldn't remember to who, but I didn't want to let anyone know or for whatever reason, I allowed my mother to fawn over me and get me ready for my wedding. I remember looking at a mirror for the first time after waking up and crying upon seeing how I had aged, even in those four years. I looked older, and I looked like an adult woman, no longer a college kid. As I prepared for my wedding, I was in shock, completely emotionless, not knowing how to start over.
2) I woke up in my dream to find myself on a bed, with my mother and grandmother, possibly my father, standing over me. They were crying tears of joy, and soon after I discovered I had been in a coma for four years. I was now 24, and I don't know why but at age 20 I had gone into this coma. At the time, I was apparently also engaged. The problem was, I couldn't remember to who, but I didn't want to let anyone know or for whatever reason, I allowed my mother to fawn over me and get me ready for my wedding. I remember looking at a mirror for the first time after waking up and crying upon seeing how I had aged, even in those four years. I looked older, and I looked like an adult woman, no longer a college kid. As I prepared for my wedding, I was in shock, completely emotionless, not knowing how to start over.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Viruses, Water and Trees
1) I had a dream where I discovered a virus that was present on every surface in the world, and thus far it was completely harmless. But I developed a way to see these viruses in live action, and I vividly remember watching them crawl all around people's bodies and out of their mouths, etc. As I observed them more, I realized a pattern where some of them would mutate but then would not be able to reproduce themselves, so they "died" off. But then I observed some survivors, and I realized every one of those viruses had the potential to quickly become harmful to humans.
2) In a fantastical water park, I was a musical guest along with three other girls in my quartet, and we performed a special act. The stage was set up as a tall cliff with a lagoon on the top and a larger one at the bottom - the performers, us four, were in the top lagoon and we were dressed like synchronized swimmers, while the audience was in swimsuits at the bottom lagoon. We were hooked up to a great sound system, and we played our music while half of our bodies were submerged in water. I originally began to play the violin but then traded with another girl, and I ended up playing these magical-sounding glass tubes. Our music was very environmental, airy, and mystical.
3) I was volunteering at an elementary school where my mom was substituting. I had to volunteer because it was a requirement for my medical studies. I remember needing to go to the bathroom and getting locked into the bathroom. I also remember watching a music class.
4) Some friends and I were on a trip somewhere, and while we were eating in the dining hall, about half of the people in there became flesh-eating zombies. I vaguely remembered having been in a situation like it before, so I knew how to dodge them and my friends and I escaped into an adjacent room. All of a sudden, however, zombies showed up in the room, but this time they didn't attack us immediately. The king and queen of the zombies came in and the king demanded we help them pick the nicest piece of jewelry for his queen out of a selection he brought in, but he said we couldn't steal any of it and if we did and tried to get away, an alarm would ring and we would be killed. Remembering how to escape, I decided I may as well try and escape and steal something. So I chose a beautiful necklace made of many blue stones, and snuck it in my pocket as I pretended to show the queen another piece. Then in a moment of distraction, I escaped into a room I remembered from before, and I found another man who had also escaped. Soon after, however, another zombie (or someone on their side) showed up and told us we were screwed. At that moment we ran out the door, set off the alarm, but managed to get into a van and drive off before the zombies could get to us, and we left them in the distance. Thinking we were safe, we drove to a friend's house by the river and walked to the river. The river was one of the clearest rivers I had ever seen in my life - even clearer than pool water, and there was nothing but a light blue bottom. It was sparkling in the sun. Everyone then decided to get in the water, but I saw rain coming and possibly lightning so I decided to go in. I walked into a bathroom and found a guy friend of mine in there, sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper. I walked back out, took all my clothes except my bottoms off, and walked in again, and tried to seduce the young man. He resisted, and said we couldn't do this because he was not interested in me, and I said that was OK because it was just going to be a one-time, no strings attached hook up. But then we heard screaming outside because our friends saw the zombies coming. So we went outside, and I remembered zombies were scared of water. So I made everyone get a cup and fill it with water, and we waited for them to come.
4) I don't remember the beginning of this dream, but at some point I was sitting on the main quad of a half-imaginary university, and it was fall. We had many visitors and they were curious to see the campus. An old couple approached me and asked me what kind of trees there were. I remember saying they were cedar, pine, and juniper. Then there was a tree they pointed to that I could not identify. Then I remember sitting on the grass in the main quad with a bunch of logs, and I was sawing them in half with a double sided saw. People smiled at me as I walked by. I remember the smell of the wood. At some other point in my dream, my mother drove me to a grocery store, and my brother was also present. At another point, I remember being naked and someone walking in on me, and me screaming "GET OUT!"
2) In a fantastical water park, I was a musical guest along with three other girls in my quartet, and we performed a special act. The stage was set up as a tall cliff with a lagoon on the top and a larger one at the bottom - the performers, us four, were in the top lagoon and we were dressed like synchronized swimmers, while the audience was in swimsuits at the bottom lagoon. We were hooked up to a great sound system, and we played our music while half of our bodies were submerged in water. I originally began to play the violin but then traded with another girl, and I ended up playing these magical-sounding glass tubes. Our music was very environmental, airy, and mystical.
3) I was volunteering at an elementary school where my mom was substituting. I had to volunteer because it was a requirement for my medical studies. I remember needing to go to the bathroom and getting locked into the bathroom. I also remember watching a music class.
4) Some friends and I were on a trip somewhere, and while we were eating in the dining hall, about half of the people in there became flesh-eating zombies. I vaguely remembered having been in a situation like it before, so I knew how to dodge them and my friends and I escaped into an adjacent room. All of a sudden, however, zombies showed up in the room, but this time they didn't attack us immediately. The king and queen of the zombies came in and the king demanded we help them pick the nicest piece of jewelry for his queen out of a selection he brought in, but he said we couldn't steal any of it and if we did and tried to get away, an alarm would ring and we would be killed. Remembering how to escape, I decided I may as well try and escape and steal something. So I chose a beautiful necklace made of many blue stones, and snuck it in my pocket as I pretended to show the queen another piece. Then in a moment of distraction, I escaped into a room I remembered from before, and I found another man who had also escaped. Soon after, however, another zombie (or someone on their side) showed up and told us we were screwed. At that moment we ran out the door, set off the alarm, but managed to get into a van and drive off before the zombies could get to us, and we left them in the distance. Thinking we were safe, we drove to a friend's house by the river and walked to the river. The river was one of the clearest rivers I had ever seen in my life - even clearer than pool water, and there was nothing but a light blue bottom. It was sparkling in the sun. Everyone then decided to get in the water, but I saw rain coming and possibly lightning so I decided to go in. I walked into a bathroom and found a guy friend of mine in there, sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper. I walked back out, took all my clothes except my bottoms off, and walked in again, and tried to seduce the young man. He resisted, and said we couldn't do this because he was not interested in me, and I said that was OK because it was just going to be a one-time, no strings attached hook up. But then we heard screaming outside because our friends saw the zombies coming. So we went outside, and I remembered zombies were scared of water. So I made everyone get a cup and fill it with water, and we waited for them to come.
4) I don't remember the beginning of this dream, but at some point I was sitting on the main quad of a half-imaginary university, and it was fall. We had many visitors and they were curious to see the campus. An old couple approached me and asked me what kind of trees there were. I remember saying they were cedar, pine, and juniper. Then there was a tree they pointed to that I could not identify. Then I remember sitting on the grass in the main quad with a bunch of logs, and I was sawing them in half with a double sided saw. People smiled at me as I walked by. I remember the smell of the wood. At some other point in my dream, my mother drove me to a grocery store, and my brother was also present. At another point, I remember being naked and someone walking in on me, and me screaming "GET OUT!"
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